Friday, February 6, 2009
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Oh yeah, I have a blog....
So in honor of the one month anniversary of my arrival(and to get people to stop asking when I'm gonna update this), I decided to give you all an update on what has happened since I got here. I am currently stay with a lovely family with three boys all under the age of ten. It is insane here all the time. For those of you who don't know me, I'm not particularly fond of children and had almost no association with them back in Santa Cruz. For those of you already knew this, I'm sure you are finding this hilarious. There is a student at UNC Greensboro who lives in their basement apartment. His name is Logan and he is a awesome guy. He's been a great friend to me and has been showing me around and introducing me to people.
He attends a bible study comprised of music majors at UNCG and has gotten me involved there. They are a great group of people. The man who helped me get setup here is a pastor and I have been attending his church for the past few weeks. He is a really cool guy and his church is full of very kind and caring people. They had been expecting me for sometime and have welcomed me with open arms. One of the members of the church is lending me one of their cars until I can afford to buy one, which I hope will be soon.
My first week here I applied for a few jobs, but no one really took noticed. Then on my first friday here, I applied at a store in the mall called Brookstone. I had never heard of it before, but apparently they're quite popular. Anyways, I applied there and had an interview like 10 minutes later. They were very pleased and said they would let me know. Monday morning I was driving back to the mall to apply at more places when they called and offered me a job. Not wanting to picky and continue the job search for possibly several weeks, I accepted the position as a sales associate/stock person. It has been very challenging there. Instead of just working the register, I actually have to be out on the floor and get people interested in our products. I have to greet everyone who comes in and also give demos on our massage chairs. I really don't care for it. I don't like pushy salesmen when I'm shopping and really don't like being one to others. The best days are when I'm just in the stockroom, dealing with boxes. I'm already looking for something else. The really sucky part is that I probably wont get any time off at Christmas and won't be able to see my family. I really hope I can find something that isnt holiday dependant like this.
So far this place has been pretty cool. The people are nice and there are trees everywhere. It's beautiful here. Getting around has proven a challenge as my whole sense of direction is based on my proximity to the ocean. Also, the streets here actually change names at random intesections. You can drive straight through an intersection and somehow be on a different street. And because of this, there are intersections where you can turn left onto one street and turn right onto another street. It is very confusing and extremely irritating. But there is also way more stuff here. The place is littered with restaraunts.
I have been holding up alright. I've been able to combat the homesickness pretty well. Keeping busy helps. But last Sunday was pretty rough. It was the first time that I felt lonely since I got here. It sucked. But then I went to the Waffle House and met a waitress from California. She's been here for about three months. There is also a girl in my bible study from California. It helps knowing there's people from the West Coast out here. Makes it feel like the distance isnt so enormous.
I have also been sick the past two weeks. The family I'm staying with all got a stomache virus. I got a cold and figured I would be safe from it. Wrong. I got both. The stomache virus lasted a couple days and layed me out. I actually had to call in sick on my third day. I came in the next day looking like death. I was really pale and my eyes were all black. I had to be a confident, trustworthy salesman and I looked like a heroine addict. I recovered for a few days but got struck again this past Thursday. Ever since, I have felt clouded. And my voice is seriously warped. I think I may have laryngitis. Did I mention I have to talk to people all day?
I also went to a Halloween party this past Friday. It was great. In honor of this blog I decided to dress up as a hobbit. It was pretty cool. If you havent seen pictures, go check out my Facebook page. They're awesome.
Well, that's pretty much all that's been going on here. I'm looking forward to getting my life in order here and having all kinds of wonderful adventures and collecting stories to tell. I miss all you Santa Cruz people very much, and I hope you are all doing well. And now, you have all been updated. Leave comments. Peace.
He attends a bible study comprised of music majors at UNCG and has gotten me involved there. They are a great group of people. The man who helped me get setup here is a pastor and I have been attending his church for the past few weeks. He is a really cool guy and his church is full of very kind and caring people. They had been expecting me for sometime and have welcomed me with open arms. One of the members of the church is lending me one of their cars until I can afford to buy one, which I hope will be soon.
My first week here I applied for a few jobs, but no one really took noticed. Then on my first friday here, I applied at a store in the mall called Brookstone. I had never heard of it before, but apparently they're quite popular. Anyways, I applied there and had an interview like 10 minutes later. They were very pleased and said they would let me know. Monday morning I was driving back to the mall to apply at more places when they called and offered me a job. Not wanting to picky and continue the job search for possibly several weeks, I accepted the position as a sales associate/stock person. It has been very challenging there. Instead of just working the register, I actually have to be out on the floor and get people interested in our products. I have to greet everyone who comes in and also give demos on our massage chairs. I really don't care for it. I don't like pushy salesmen when I'm shopping and really don't like being one to others. The best days are when I'm just in the stockroom, dealing with boxes. I'm already looking for something else. The really sucky part is that I probably wont get any time off at Christmas and won't be able to see my family. I really hope I can find something that isnt holiday dependant like this.
So far this place has been pretty cool. The people are nice and there are trees everywhere. It's beautiful here. Getting around has proven a challenge as my whole sense of direction is based on my proximity to the ocean. Also, the streets here actually change names at random intesections. You can drive straight through an intersection and somehow be on a different street. And because of this, there are intersections where you can turn left onto one street and turn right onto another street. It is very confusing and extremely irritating. But there is also way more stuff here. The place is littered with restaraunts.
I have been holding up alright. I've been able to combat the homesickness pretty well. Keeping busy helps. But last Sunday was pretty rough. It was the first time that I felt lonely since I got here. It sucked. But then I went to the Waffle House and met a waitress from California. She's been here for about three months. There is also a girl in my bible study from California. It helps knowing there's people from the West Coast out here. Makes it feel like the distance isnt so enormous.
I have also been sick the past two weeks. The family I'm staying with all got a stomache virus. I got a cold and figured I would be safe from it. Wrong. I got both. The stomache virus lasted a couple days and layed me out. I actually had to call in sick on my third day. I came in the next day looking like death. I was really pale and my eyes were all black. I had to be a confident, trustworthy salesman and I looked like a heroine addict. I recovered for a few days but got struck again this past Thursday. Ever since, I have felt clouded. And my voice is seriously warped. I think I may have laryngitis. Did I mention I have to talk to people all day?
I also went to a Halloween party this past Friday. It was great. In honor of this blog I decided to dress up as a hobbit. It was pretty cool. If you havent seen pictures, go check out my Facebook page. They're awesome.
Well, that's pretty much all that's been going on here. I'm looking forward to getting my life in order here and having all kinds of wonderful adventures and collecting stories to tell. I miss all you Santa Cruz people very much, and I hope you are all doing well. And now, you have all been updated. Leave comments. Peace.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Captain's Log
So in honor of the one month anniversary of my departure, I thought I'd finally share a few of my journal entries from the bus trip. Please to enjoy my insanity.
Wednesday October 1st, 2008
1:15pm
Well, I'm on the bus. Said goodbye to my dad at the station. Got a ride from Bobby. Left at 12:30pm and am currently on my way to Salinas. I wish I had slept better. Maybe it'll help me sleep tonight. I talked to Joel for the first time. He sounds like a really nice guy. I'm sure he is. A little while ago we passed a billboard for the Boardwalk. It's perfect. Who knew that working there for a summer would lead me to North Carolina? Shows what I know about my life.
Made it to Salinas. Nothing much to update on at this point other than the whirlwind of emotions that has become the norm of my life. It's kinda comforting in a way. Yes there's sadness, but there is also excitement and anticipation. As long as those kinds of feelings stay in the mix, the whirlwind should make for a good ride. All for now - Isaac.
2:15pm
Just left the Salinas station. Next door was a place called Western Bible Store. Something tells me I'm on the right path.
3:20pm
King City: Driving down a road called Division St. I feel like I should have something deep and poignant to say about division. Like the division in our political system and how all this division is destroying us and keeping us from solving our nation's problems. After all, a "house" divided cannot stand. And yet, all I can think is, what a weird name for a street. Was this place founded by math enthusiasts? Is there a subtraction street? Addition Avenue? Multiplication Boulevard? Pythagorean Theorem Way??
7:36pm
Santa Barbara: Just used the bathroom on the bus and the floor was incredibly sticky. I don't even want to THINK about what that could be.
11: 37pm
Still in LA. Been waiting almost two hours. Met an interesting fellow from Tennessee. I couldn't be sure, but I think he was missing most of the teeth in the right side of his mouth. Perhaps that would explain why I could only understand half of what he was saying. Best I could figure, there was a trip to Vegas that went south and he some tiff with his girlfriend(?) He was going on about snakes in his house, paying a guy fifty bucks to get a ride home from Memphis and some *expletive* not being able to *expletive* with his bank account. He also told me a story about taking an 18 yr old girl to a hotel room and then leaving her in the room with a bunch of liquor bottles and being afraid to go back. I'm surrounded by a bunch of loud *expletive* talking about Bush, McCain, The Clintons and Obama and a bunch of other political *expletive*. This is gonna be a long *expletive* trip. I really wish I was in Greensboro already. God shed Your Grace on me. (Full disclosure: in this entry I did use graphic language, but felt I should edit it for the sake of my more sensitive readers. You *expletive* babies!)
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
7:27am
Phoenix, AZ: It has been a night! Got to Palm Springs at about 2:30am. Slept a little here and there. Had our first stop in Arizona in a place called Quartzsite. Slept through it. Haven't really missed much with it being dark and all, but I'm sure its beautiful when you can see it. So far it looks alot like CA. So now I'm waiting out the end of our layover. Had some mediocer biscuits and gravy from the Greyhound Cafeteria. Managed to spill coffee on the journal, tickets and food. No damage really except to my ego. Luckily the tickets were in an envelope so they're okay. Supposed to be pretty hot today. Hope these buses got good A/C. As long as I can get my own seat again, I'll be okay. Til now I was stuck next to a large woman who liked to complain and had an annoying laugh. Something tells me I'm in for a LOOOOONG day - Isaac.
9:16am
Saw a semi-trailer parked in the side of the road that said "Christ is the answer!" I'm on the right path.
9:45am
At the station in Tucson, AZ. How can it be this hot this early?? Thank God for air conditioning.
11:19 am
Just saw a sign that said "Cochise Stronghold." Decided to honor it with some Audioslave. Moving on to "Show Me How To Live" and realizing that the first Audioslave album is perfect for the desert*. Note to self: next time, get noise-cancelling headphones.
*For the uninformed, the first song on that album is called "Cochise." And the vidoe for "Show Me How To Live' takes place in the desert. You're welcome.
12:10pm
I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride, I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning
I am not your Autumn moon, I am the night
-I Am The Highway by Audioslave
12:27pm
Looking out at the dry plains and seeing all the plant life that exists in such rough conditions. No one tends to it, and yet somehow it survives. Makes me think of the verse in Matthew 7: "If God so clothes the grass, which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith?" Also the night before I left my Life Group prayed for me. During which time Stephanie had a vision of me out on a plain with my eyes fixed on something in the distance. I don't know if it's supposed to be a real place or not, but if it is it's probably in New Mexico.
1:40pm
Just jumped ahead an hour. We're stopped in a place called Lordsburg. Nothing to say, I just think its a funny name.
4:55pm
Just entered Texas. Everything looks about same size to me.
Friday, October 3rd, 2008
12:15pm
Sitting in a terminal in Shreveport, LA waiting for the bus to Atlanta and then onto Greensboro. It has been a long and rough day since Phoenix. El Paso was the beginning of the frustration. And it really started to get bad after Van Horn and Abilene. Lots of delays, stupidity and a worrisome txt message from Shawna and no way to respond. Slept through most of Texas. Saw a bizzare gift shop/BBQ restaraunt. Lots of kitchy camp stuff. And I don't think that they were being ironic either. I'll give a ful account later. On a happier note, they have a charging station in this terminal. Only stop that's had one. Finally get to charge up my phone and iPod. I think things are getting better. Still feel like Im only on vacation though. Hasn't yet hit me that this is for real. Long term. I'll be LIVING there.
*By this time I was totally exhausted and really did not want to journal so these are the final two entries. Sorry.
Saturday, October 4th, 2008
3:18am
Sitting in the terminal in Atlanta, GA. I think I'm about the the breaking point. I felt I was about to collapse at our last stop in Birmingham. Glad I was able to get an egg and sausage biscuit. It took everything I had just to get my luggage from the bus into the terminal. Wasn't this difficult the other times. I'm glad this is the last day on the bus. Although it is gonna be hard getting used to things in Greensboro. Just over eight hours left. Gonna have lunch with Joel when he picks me up. Looking forward to some real food. Really want some Southern breakfast. Larry King has some pundits on talking about the VP debate. So sick of this election. They're not even part of it. Just pushy, loud-mouth a**holes yelling at each other. Which just gets people riled up and more divisive. I hate 24 hour news.
10:25am
Just now leaving Charlotte. Got delayed cuz of a marathon running through downtown. Had to wait half an hour just to get a big enough gap to cross. And all we did was make a left and then a right. 30 minutes just to to 40 yards. Unbelievable. Although, given everything else that has happened on this trip I'd say that's right on par. Hope these next few stops are quick -Isaac.
And there you go. A little glimpse into my journey to Greensboro. If you'd like to know more, I'd be glad to fill in a few more details and anecdotes. Leave some comments, yo!
Wednesday October 1st, 2008
1:15pm
Well, I'm on the bus. Said goodbye to my dad at the station. Got a ride from Bobby. Left at 12:30pm and am currently on my way to Salinas. I wish I had slept better. Maybe it'll help me sleep tonight. I talked to Joel for the first time. He sounds like a really nice guy. I'm sure he is. A little while ago we passed a billboard for the Boardwalk. It's perfect. Who knew that working there for a summer would lead me to North Carolina? Shows what I know about my life.
Made it to Salinas. Nothing much to update on at this point other than the whirlwind of emotions that has become the norm of my life. It's kinda comforting in a way. Yes there's sadness, but there is also excitement and anticipation. As long as those kinds of feelings stay in the mix, the whirlwind should make for a good ride. All for now - Isaac.
2:15pm
Just left the Salinas station. Next door was a place called Western Bible Store. Something tells me I'm on the right path.
3:20pm
King City: Driving down a road called Division St. I feel like I should have something deep and poignant to say about division. Like the division in our political system and how all this division is destroying us and keeping us from solving our nation's problems. After all, a "house" divided cannot stand. And yet, all I can think is, what a weird name for a street. Was this place founded by math enthusiasts? Is there a subtraction street? Addition Avenue? Multiplication Boulevard? Pythagorean Theorem Way??
7:36pm
Santa Barbara: Just used the bathroom on the bus and the floor was incredibly sticky. I don't even want to THINK about what that could be.
11: 37pm
Still in LA. Been waiting almost two hours. Met an interesting fellow from Tennessee. I couldn't be sure, but I think he was missing most of the teeth in the right side of his mouth. Perhaps that would explain why I could only understand half of what he was saying. Best I could figure, there was a trip to Vegas that went south and he some tiff with his girlfriend(?) He was going on about snakes in his house, paying a guy fifty bucks to get a ride home from Memphis and some *expletive* not being able to *expletive* with his bank account. He also told me a story about taking an 18 yr old girl to a hotel room and then leaving her in the room with a bunch of liquor bottles and being afraid to go back. I'm surrounded by a bunch of loud *expletive* talking about Bush, McCain, The Clintons and Obama and a bunch of other political *expletive*. This is gonna be a long *expletive* trip. I really wish I was in Greensboro already. God shed Your Grace on me. (Full disclosure: in this entry I did use graphic language, but felt I should edit it for the sake of my more sensitive readers. You *expletive* babies!)
Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
7:27am
Phoenix, AZ: It has been a night! Got to Palm Springs at about 2:30am. Slept a little here and there. Had our first stop in Arizona in a place called Quartzsite. Slept through it. Haven't really missed much with it being dark and all, but I'm sure its beautiful when you can see it. So far it looks alot like CA. So now I'm waiting out the end of our layover. Had some mediocer biscuits and gravy from the Greyhound Cafeteria. Managed to spill coffee on the journal, tickets and food. No damage really except to my ego. Luckily the tickets were in an envelope so they're okay. Supposed to be pretty hot today. Hope these buses got good A/C. As long as I can get my own seat again, I'll be okay. Til now I was stuck next to a large woman who liked to complain and had an annoying laugh. Something tells me I'm in for a LOOOOONG day - Isaac.
9:16am
Saw a semi-trailer parked in the side of the road that said "Christ is the answer!" I'm on the right path.
9:45am
At the station in Tucson, AZ. How can it be this hot this early?? Thank God for air conditioning.
11:19 am
Just saw a sign that said "Cochise Stronghold." Decided to honor it with some Audioslave. Moving on to "Show Me How To Live" and realizing that the first Audioslave album is perfect for the desert*. Note to self: next time, get noise-cancelling headphones.
*For the uninformed, the first song on that album is called "Cochise." And the vidoe for "Show Me How To Live' takes place in the desert. You're welcome.
12:10pm
I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride, I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning
I am not your Autumn moon, I am the night
-I Am The Highway by Audioslave
12:27pm
Looking out at the dry plains and seeing all the plant life that exists in such rough conditions. No one tends to it, and yet somehow it survives. Makes me think of the verse in Matthew 7: "If God so clothes the grass, which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith?" Also the night before I left my Life Group prayed for me. During which time Stephanie had a vision of me out on a plain with my eyes fixed on something in the distance. I don't know if it's supposed to be a real place or not, but if it is it's probably in New Mexico.
1:40pm
Just jumped ahead an hour. We're stopped in a place called Lordsburg. Nothing to say, I just think its a funny name.
4:55pm
Just entered Texas. Everything looks about same size to me.
Friday, October 3rd, 2008
12:15pm
Sitting in a terminal in Shreveport, LA waiting for the bus to Atlanta and then onto Greensboro. It has been a long and rough day since Phoenix. El Paso was the beginning of the frustration. And it really started to get bad after Van Horn and Abilene. Lots of delays, stupidity and a worrisome txt message from Shawna and no way to respond. Slept through most of Texas. Saw a bizzare gift shop/BBQ restaraunt. Lots of kitchy camp stuff. And I don't think that they were being ironic either. I'll give a ful account later. On a happier note, they have a charging station in this terminal. Only stop that's had one. Finally get to charge up my phone and iPod. I think things are getting better. Still feel like Im only on vacation though. Hasn't yet hit me that this is for real. Long term. I'll be LIVING there.
*By this time I was totally exhausted and really did not want to journal so these are the final two entries. Sorry.
Saturday, October 4th, 2008
3:18am
Sitting in the terminal in Atlanta, GA. I think I'm about the the breaking point. I felt I was about to collapse at our last stop in Birmingham. Glad I was able to get an egg and sausage biscuit. It took everything I had just to get my luggage from the bus into the terminal. Wasn't this difficult the other times. I'm glad this is the last day on the bus. Although it is gonna be hard getting used to things in Greensboro. Just over eight hours left. Gonna have lunch with Joel when he picks me up. Looking forward to some real food. Really want some Southern breakfast. Larry King has some pundits on talking about the VP debate. So sick of this election. They're not even part of it. Just pushy, loud-mouth a**holes yelling at each other. Which just gets people riled up and more divisive. I hate 24 hour news.
10:25am
Just now leaving Charlotte. Got delayed cuz of a marathon running through downtown. Had to wait half an hour just to get a big enough gap to cross. And all we did was make a left and then a right. 30 minutes just to to 40 yards. Unbelievable. Although, given everything else that has happened on this trip I'd say that's right on par. Hope these next few stops are quick -Isaac.
And there you go. A little glimpse into my journey to Greensboro. If you'd like to know more, I'd be glad to fill in a few more details and anecdotes. Leave some comments, yo!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Safe and (mostly) sound
Hey everyone!
So in case you haven't heard, I made it to Greensboro. I got in around 12:45pm on Saturday. I'm staying with a wonderful family and making an attempt to get to know the city. Lots to learn and lots to be done. Finding a job and getting a car namely. I'll be sure to give a more thorough blog soon as well post some journal entries from the bus ride. I'm looking forward to getting things setup here. Its pretty daunting, but I'm staying positive. It'll get done because, well, it has it to!
Well, that's all for now. I miss you, Santa Cruz!
So in case you haven't heard, I made it to Greensboro. I got in around 12:45pm on Saturday. I'm staying with a wonderful family and making an attempt to get to know the city. Lots to learn and lots to be done. Finding a job and getting a car namely. I'll be sure to give a more thorough blog soon as well post some journal entries from the bus ride. I'm looking forward to getting things setup here. Its pretty daunting, but I'm staying positive. It'll get done because, well, it has it to!
Well, that's all for now. I miss you, Santa Cruz!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Ramble On...
"Leaves are falling all around
Time I was on my way
Thanks to you I'm much obliged
Such a pleasant stay
But now its time for me to go
The autumn moon lights my way..."
There have been few times in my life when a song has so perfectly captured my life. This is one of those times. I feel like Led Zeppelin's "Ramble On" has expertly encapsulated this new chapter in my life. Like a lyrical snapshot(or something less contrived).
For so many thoughts and emotions, I'm quite short of words. But I learned tonight that people actually appreciate that about me. Tonight was the last meeting with my Life Group. Well, last one for awhile at least. It was the perfect sendoff. As the 1st drew closer and closer, I began to feel unsure of my standing with my friends. I have never felt like I really belonged anywhere. And even in the best of times with this group it always seemed at best, a temporary belonging. That while I was cared for, it was perhaps based on the condition that I was here. That should I leave, I would in time simply become a nice little memory.
But after tonight, I can no longer accept that. Tonight I was told things that really shook me. Like an emotional Etch-A-Sketch, they erased the staircase of low self-esteem (that was for you, Steph). I was put in a very awkward situation. I sat in a chair while everyone said nice things about me. There a few rules, but namely that I had to look everyone in the eye when they spoke, and all I could say was "thank you." For those of you who don't know me, I don't take compliments well. I always want to disregard them or argue them or follow with a "yes, BUT..."
I was told some pretty remarkable things. It was so over-whelming to not only see how much they care, but how much they NOTICE! There were things brought up that I never would have known about myself. And to a shy little guy like me, being noticed is HUGE!
As I close my last post from Santa Cruz, I'd just like say a few things to some people.
To my Santa Cruz friends and family:
Thank you. Your love and support have been crucial in this decision and making it a reality. You all mean so much more than you could all possibly imagine. I am truly greatful for all of you. While it's difficult to leave so many wonderful people, I am strong knowing that there is a place where I am loved and accepted. I can't wait to share with you all that God is doing both in me and in Greensboro. I love you all and will think of you often.
To my friends and family waiting to be discovered in Greensboro:
I cannot wait to meet you all and start making memories. I look forward with eagerness and great anticipation to all things we will do and the moments we will share. I can't wait to know you, to be blessed and be a blessing, and to share in the joy of our friendships. We have some great times to look forward to!
To my Life Group:
It has been an honor, a privilege, a pleasure, and a joy to share my life with you. Thank you for sharing your highs and lows. Thank you for your honesty, sincerety and authenticity. For your prayers and comfort. For letting me into your lives and making me at home there. And thank you for a safe place to go every week where I could be vulnerable and just be me. I was truly blessed to walk with you and look forward to the day when our paths will once more converge and we will walk together again.
In a few hours, I will be on a bus headed towards a anything and everything. And as Sam said in Lord Of The Rings; The Fellowship of The Ring: "If I take one more step, it will be the farthes away from home I've ever been."
Well, I guess its time to say goodnight. I've got my ticket, I've packed my bags and I've said goodbye.
But I know I've got one thing I got to do...
Time I was on my way
Thanks to you I'm much obliged
Such a pleasant stay
But now its time for me to go
The autumn moon lights my way..."
There have been few times in my life when a song has so perfectly captured my life. This is one of those times. I feel like Led Zeppelin's "Ramble On" has expertly encapsulated this new chapter in my life. Like a lyrical snapshot(or something less contrived).
For so many thoughts and emotions, I'm quite short of words. But I learned tonight that people actually appreciate that about me. Tonight was the last meeting with my Life Group. Well, last one for awhile at least. It was the perfect sendoff. As the 1st drew closer and closer, I began to feel unsure of my standing with my friends. I have never felt like I really belonged anywhere. And even in the best of times with this group it always seemed at best, a temporary belonging. That while I was cared for, it was perhaps based on the condition that I was here. That should I leave, I would in time simply become a nice little memory.
But after tonight, I can no longer accept that. Tonight I was told things that really shook me. Like an emotional Etch-A-Sketch, they erased the staircase of low self-esteem (that was for you, Steph). I was put in a very awkward situation. I sat in a chair while everyone said nice things about me. There a few rules, but namely that I had to look everyone in the eye when they spoke, and all I could say was "thank you." For those of you who don't know me, I don't take compliments well. I always want to disregard them or argue them or follow with a "yes, BUT..."
I was told some pretty remarkable things. It was so over-whelming to not only see how much they care, but how much they NOTICE! There were things brought up that I never would have known about myself. And to a shy little guy like me, being noticed is HUGE!
As I close my last post from Santa Cruz, I'd just like say a few things to some people.
To my Santa Cruz friends and family:
Thank you. Your love and support have been crucial in this decision and making it a reality. You all mean so much more than you could all possibly imagine. I am truly greatful for all of you. While it's difficult to leave so many wonderful people, I am strong knowing that there is a place where I am loved and accepted. I can't wait to share with you all that God is doing both in me and in Greensboro. I love you all and will think of you often.
To my friends and family waiting to be discovered in Greensboro:
I cannot wait to meet you all and start making memories. I look forward with eagerness and great anticipation to all things we will do and the moments we will share. I can't wait to know you, to be blessed and be a blessing, and to share in the joy of our friendships. We have some great times to look forward to!
To my Life Group:
It has been an honor, a privilege, a pleasure, and a joy to share my life with you. Thank you for sharing your highs and lows. Thank you for your honesty, sincerety and authenticity. For your prayers and comfort. For letting me into your lives and making me at home there. And thank you for a safe place to go every week where I could be vulnerable and just be me. I was truly blessed to walk with you and look forward to the day when our paths will once more converge and we will walk together again.
In a few hours, I will be on a bus headed towards a anything and everything. And as Sam said in Lord Of The Rings; The Fellowship of The Ring: "If I take one more step, it will be the farthes away from home I've ever been."
Well, I guess its time to say goodnight. I've got my ticket, I've packed my bags and I've said goodbye.
But I know I've got one thing I got to do...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Blogging?
Call me a heretic, but I'm actually not that into blogging. I just don't get it. Why air out your dirty laundry in the most public of all forums? When I was a kid, a journal or diary was sacred. It was where you wrote things you couldn't tell anyone. You did everything you could to keep it safe and from falling into the wrong hands. The thought of someone getting hold of it and sharing its contents with others was horrifying.
Okay, I will admit that I never had a journal as a kid. I really only knew of them from various TV shows. But I did get it. There are certain things you just don't tell anyone. ANYONE. Most people who know me know that I am very private person. I play close to the vest. I could probably count the number of people I truly trust on one finger. I am exaggerating, but you get the idea.
So why I am I doing this? It should be obvious that its not for the trendiness. Nor am I trying to be bolder in expressing vulnerability and openness. No, the real reason is much stupider. My friends told me to get one. Its been suggested before, but I just wrote it off as " a dumb idea." I had nothing to say or anything really going on worth being chronicled in such a prestigious literary realm along such great thinkers as Perez Hilton and that guy with the clever shirt at Starbucks twittering on his iPhone that he's in line at Starbucks.
But with this new adventure dawning, I feel like maybe I have something worth blogging about. I'm also really lazy, and figured that this would be the easiest way to keep everyone up to date on what's going in my life. I can't guarantee this will be as compelling and though-provoking as the saga of a lonely 15 yr old girl, but I'll try my best to keep it interesting and amusing. And perhaps even relevant.
Stay tuned...
Okay, I will admit that I never had a journal as a kid. I really only knew of them from various TV shows. But I did get it. There are certain things you just don't tell anyone. ANYONE. Most people who know me know that I am very private person. I play close to the vest. I could probably count the number of people I truly trust on one finger. I am exaggerating, but you get the idea.
So why I am I doing this? It should be obvious that its not for the trendiness. Nor am I trying to be bolder in expressing vulnerability and openness. No, the real reason is much stupider. My friends told me to get one. Its been suggested before, but I just wrote it off as " a dumb idea." I had nothing to say or anything really going on worth being chronicled in such a prestigious literary realm along such great thinkers as Perez Hilton and that guy with the clever shirt at Starbucks twittering on his iPhone that he's in line at Starbucks.
But with this new adventure dawning, I feel like maybe I have something worth blogging about. I'm also really lazy, and figured that this would be the easiest way to keep everyone up to date on what's going in my life. I can't guarantee this will be as compelling and though-provoking as the saga of a lonely 15 yr old girl, but I'll try my best to keep it interesting and amusing. And perhaps even relevant.
Stay tuned...
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